I'll Sleep When I'm Dead
by fcuking cathy
Summary: Life has it bad times. There are ways out of those moments, but what if you're too blind to see them? Ginny's stuck in one of those bad times. Can't anyone help her see?


I do not own any of the characters; they all belong to a rich blonde living in England.  
  
My pessimistic side was taking over again. I hate my life. I'm not special. I'm not good looking, brainy or good at sport. I'm just your-good-for nothing average person. Though some may say I have it all, I completely disagree. Sure I have a family who is always there for me, but ALWAYS, is the problem. When I was little I never had any time to myself, because every few minutes I was being picked on or lectured by one of my many brothers, and always felt different because I was the only girl. Then others may say that I have many friends. Great friends they are, never by my side when I need them, like now, none of my friends have even noticed that I've been depressed lately.  
  
In my right hand I grip my wand, my most prized possession, which will aid me to my death.  
  
I'm walking slowly up cold stone steps, then I freeze, there's movement up ahead. I slowly take a few steps forward and hide behind a suit of armour. The voices become louder and louder, then two Prefects walk past me, oblivious to the fact that I'm even here.  
  
I wait until their voices disappear, like I wish I could right now. I continue walking up the stone steps, and don't stop till I get to the highest landing on the Astronomy Tower.  
  
I wonder for a moment what the best way to do this is, I have a knife in my pocket so I could slash my wrists, but that would take to long. I could jump, but then my body would probably be devoured by some wild animals from the forbidden forest, then they wouldn't realise I had gone. I know.  
  
I'll use the rope. I put my wand down, and dig the rope out of my pocket. I take one end in my right hand. Slowly with trembling hands I make a slip- knot, leaving the other end just long enough, but not too short.  
  
I search my mind for the spell I need, I find it less then a minute later. With a deep breath I raise my wand, pointing to the rope in my other hand, and say the spell. The rope gradually floats higher, then the end of the rope, ties itself to an invisible hook, and just hangs there. The loop hanging before me is so inviting, so tempting.  
  
I recite another spell and a piece of wood transfigures into a chair. I look down at the brown, boring chair, no different from any other of the school ones, and I can't help but notice that its just like me. Boring. Unimportant and no different from any other of my kind  
  
I place the chair directly under the rope. I grasp the back of the chair with my right hand, my left hand on my knee and my wand sticking out of my skirt pocket, just in case I change my mind at the last split second. With one heave I stand on the large chair, such a simple task, seeming nearly impossible. The bottom of the loop sways just below my nose. By now there's a stream of tears running down my cheeks, but I don't care. I think over what may be my last ever decision. 'It's for the best. Now your brothers will be free of the burden of looking after you.' 'Your parents can stop wasting money on you, for there will be one less mouth to feed.' 'You'll stop using up air on this planet full of goodness and hope and beauty and most of all, you'll stop endangering other people's lives, like in your first year'. Voices in my head find so many good things that will come from my death. Nothing bad will result from my death in fact I think I might be doing the world a favour.  
  
I check in my head that the letters are in the right spots, one for my family and one for my friends, if you could call them friends.  
  
I'm trembling from head to foot, the tears still flowing like there's an endless supply. I'm on tiptoes now; I move my head so that the loop is now under my chin. With one last pain filled sob I say goodbye to the word and kick the chair away.  
  
My life flashes before my eyes, but wait, why can I see Malfoy?  
  
Malfoy has just walked into the room, and stands, horrified by what he's seeing in front of him, he reaches for his wand, hoping it isn't too late  
  
******  
  
Authors note: I'm not really confident that this is a good fic, so feel free to flame or review.hopefully review.if enough people *not aliens NAT* seem interested in my story I might update. and thank-you to Nat and Belle for Better Reading my fic for me!!! 


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